every day in may (this one’s about fear)

hello may seventh! so let’s get at the challenge for today! 

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you’re most afraid of. 
oh fear! fear is just a sucker right?? ..and an all-too familiar friend of mine. on one hand it makes me feel dumb. like really.. are you seriously worried about that? move on already. on the other hand, it’s soo real, it’s in your face, it’s a jerk. and it’s so flipping convincing.
fear of being wrong and fear of being abandoned/rejected are two that come to mind right away. a dear friend and pastor to us once told me that while some fears will be completely healed and out of our lives, others will never fully go away, you just learn how to handle them. and oh boy, that’s definitely true for me. on one hand, [i believe] god has totally healed certain fears in me, and thank-stinkin-goodness because they can fill me with such anxiety. i find myself worrying that at any moment, life could be flipped upside-down and i’d lose the things that are so very precious to me. blech.
along with that is one that james and i have been discussing really openly as of late—fear of dying young. i even dislike writing it, you know?.. both of us have lost friends and loved ones much too early in life. the sort of thing that just breaks you because it just seems like it’s not supposed to happen that way and it’s not. and i am so incredibly grateful that i have someone to be open about it with. because once it’s stuck in my mind and nobody else knows about it..well that’s when it’s really a jerk. 
i ultimately believe in my head that there’s nothing at all to fear, in my mind that’s true. but knowing that’s true though in the day-to-day, when a thought flies across your mind and it’s so convincing, well that’s different. what would i do if a, b, c happened? or what if this is the last time i see them because [dot dot dot]? etc etc etc. it takes different forms but all of them are so destructive and anxiety causing.
so since i’m working that all out at the moment, i thought i’d share a couple of verses i’ve been holding  onto when all of that seems to be in my face. and if you feel alone in your fears, please know that you’re not! these verses that remind me that i have nothing to dread, god is with me and i’m never alone, that there is no higher authority than him whatsoever!
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. 
Do not fear or be in dread of them, 
for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. 
He will not leave you or forsake you.
Hebrews 13:5-6 …for he has said, 
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 
So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; 
I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

8 thoughts on “every day in may (this one’s about fear)

  1. First, these May challenges really require a lot of honesty and openness from bloggers, and I am so impressed by everything that people are writing! So, just wanted to say that I really love reading these, and I appreciate these responses/learning more about you!!

    I am absolutely with you on the dying young thing. I think that with the older I get, the more aware I am of how fragile life truly is. It makes me so much more cautious too! I've really gotten into saying “i love you” so much more too — I don't care if people think I overuse it; I just want to make sure everyone knows it all the time!

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  2. You are SURIOUSLY rocking this blog every day thing AND I LOVE IT.

    What a great post. And especially the verses you shared. So, thank you. 🙂

    I'm not so scared of dying, as I am of getting sick. {that was scary to write out, too!}… and the thing that actually scares me most is my loved ones dying. It's the worst feeling EVER and I know we'll all have to go through it at some point in our lives, but that's the scariest thing in the world to me.

    😦

    Absolutely YES to the “I love you” bit that was written above. I don't think it can ever be said enough!– I'll shout it from the rooftops if I have to! 🙂

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  3. thank you so much for saying that emma!!! it's been an awesome challenge for me so far and i feel like it's helping me climb out of a 'blogging whatever i happened to take a picture of that day' r-u-t!! if you weren't in the middle of the gnarliest part of your law-school education, i would soooo recommend it (or wait, are you done??)!

    i love that you say 'i love you' all the more, it's true..i would be so sad to find out that someone didn't know how i felt towards them! great perspective lady 🙂

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  4. THANK YOU ANNA times a thousand!! ..and the fact that you use a “U” in “SURIOUSLY” just makes me OH SOOO happy.

    😦 ..the thought of losing family is hard for me also (well, more like heart. wrenching.) and I, too, agree with the above. SO here's to all the shouting-off-the-rooftops and treasuring the here-and-now we can possibly manage! And lots of long hugs with family, because there ain't nothin' better 🙂

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  5. ah, i think fear is a normal part of being human… i like what your pastor said about learning to live WITH some fears… i think being able to feel fear and proceed anyway, or at least not let it take over you, that's what counts. and of course, finding comfort in faith really does help… when you accept that you're not in control, i think. 🙂 thanks for sharing!!!

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  6. I TOTALLY needed this today. It's cool that it's part of the “blog every day in May” posts, too, that means a lot of them are up ; ) I totally understand your fears. James and I passed a funeral home this weekend, and I told him that when I die, I don't want him to have a dress-in-black, lots-of-tears funeral, but rather some kind of memorial service with a balance of laughter and tears – I get that people will want to cry, but I don't want it to be so gloomy! And he told me to stop talking in a half-joking kind of way. And I got goosebumps thinking about it and we talked about something else. It's one of those things to not be naive about – but not to get anxious about either. I've been really thinking about my fear of failure lately, and of what people think. There are times I wish I wasn't afraid of anything. Thanks for those scriptures, too. I've been studying out God's promises – I need to add these to my list : )

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  7. i agree! 🙂 for me, it's so helpful to have people to talk with about it all too.. especially love those wonderfully brave friends that rally around you so that when it comes, you can take a chance to be brave and courageous yourself!!

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  8. thanks for your comment jenn! i too was so happy to read everyone else's responses, there are so many good ones out there! and you're right, it's wise not to be naive about those sorts of things, but not let it drive us all either (anxiety all in up here if it was like that.. oh geez). love that you're studying god's promises!! i'd sooo be the first to read about it if you ever blog it :)!!

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