Birthday reflections

happy birthday to me no longer! i am now twenty-five and there’s nothing more to celebrate, i’m all celebrated out! there will not be an ounce more to cheer for! ..except on thanksgiving when my extended family celebrates!
it was wonderful to celebrate with our nearby family at our lovely bittersweet bistro. it’s one of our faves (we like it a lot). their website even says that you can wear “snugly sweatpants” if you so desire, which is obviously very “us.” 🙂
twenty-five sounded so old to me. in many ways, i don’t feel/look/sound like a twenty-five year old. {if we can convince somebody that i’m somewhat in my twenties, it’s a victory} and i always had this picture in my mind what twenty-five would look like.
twenty-five was so put together. twenty-five knew things. i don’t even know if i know what i expected i would know. if i’ve learned anything, i know now that twenty five is just a number. that i’m in the middle of the journey, and will always be. i’ll never arrive (phew!) and never have to. i think that’s growing up..realizing we never really know something, but loving that we get to learn day by day.
i love them all! sunny (basically adopted aunt), aunt mary and my mama!

that’s not to say i don’t feel any of the twenty-five years of life cause i do..i feel it.

my conceptions have been endlessly tinkered with, my opinions have grown and receded, my disney fairy tale life has been helplessly and quite wonderfully dashed (don’t worry, i still love disney and princesses). i know me a little more. i’m much more familiar with my weaknesses. i’m even more aware of my fears, my shortcomings, my pride! oh yes i am!
but then there’s all the joy and wonder and beautiful things—small and large, which help to make up for life’s dark/lonely alleyways..those oh-so helpful parts of our journey that shape us more than anything could. it’s those joys and the hope and the beauty and the love and the understanding and the discipline and the reconciliation and the good and all the hard-earned things, the prize, the light at the end of the tunnel—oh!! those taste sweeter every day 🙂

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