Love languages

I recently came across this article in Forbes discussing the important lessons that one can utilize in the workplace from this book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I read this book, originally recommended to me by our pastor, to help us through some of the misunderstandings and hang-ups I had experienced in our communication.

We’re definitely a quality time couple. When we neglect time to just be together, it really throws us off. Another thing I learned about James is that he loves encouragement and loving words; this was not my natural tendency, but the more I spoke to him this way, the more I discovered how I love to do this!

I had no idea of this one- but I love physical touch. I actually really disliked touchy people when I was younger, but now I hang on people I love when hugging (yes so annoying I’m sure!). I absolutely love those close cuddle times. Who knew? (I’ll bet my mother is jumping up-and-down saying “I did!” to the supposedly clingy child, heh),

1. Words of Affirmation: This is all about saying what is true about a person kindly. It could be summed up with encouragement, exhortations, or declaring and upholding your support of them. And this isn’t nagging. This might be your love language if you’re often seeking your significant other’s thoughts or opinions on something you are involved with!

2. Quality Time: Ah, quality time. This is focused time with one another, where you have each other’s full attention. You might speak this language if, although you’re with one another, you feel like you don’t actually have time together. (Guilty as charged!)

3. Receiving Gifts: This is mostly about the thought. My mother is the queen of this gift. She loves a thoughtful gift and she is the best gift giver! This is much more about care than about materialism. You may speak this language if a gift means much more than something new, rather it’s an expression of love and care.

4. Acts of Service: You may speak this language if you get overly excited over a squeaky clean counter, or fresh sheets that you didn’t wash.

5. Physical Touch: Chapman says this language is more about “Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm” than it is behind the bedroom door. Physical time together is significantly important for the one who loves to speak in physical touch.

Have you read this book? What love languages do you think you communicate through?

Photo from the incredibly talented Abi over at Abi Q Photography.

5 thoughts on “Love languages

  1. I think that we are more of a words of affirmation couple. I love to hear what my boyfriend is thinking and nothing makes him happier than us sharing our thoughts regarding important (and sometimes silly) ideas.

    but in all honesty I need a little of all every day


  2. Okay, so disclaimer, I shouldn't judge because I haven't read the book. But here's my opinion: while I do agree that we have love languages, and different people love and feel love in different ways, I don't know that I necessarily agree that it should be limited to these five things! I feel like there are LOTS of ways I feel loved, and sometimes it depends on the day. I seriously can't pick just one! Is that bad?


  3. That's totally not bad! I love your opinion 🙂 I recommend the book, but any way somebody figures how to love somebody is way wonderful in my book 🙂


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