Ten things about marriage

So I just want to say THANK YOU again to the three lovely ladies who shared the ten things they’ve learned from their first year of marriage: Nicole, Jenn and Laura! You guys rock, and I was super inspired by your lists..love them.

And to round things off, here are the ten things we learned from our first year of marriage. Can I just say- this was a good challenge! Towards the end, mine got shorter, but still all the same meaningful-wise.

1. Try to maintain a soft heart. I think one of the things that always was so attractive about James was his tender heart. He was willing to be wrong, even if he didn’t fully understand. I think that most hard chats or conversations go so much more smoothly when we’re open to one another, and not to hard-hearted to believe that we didn’t something wrong. That has served us incredibly in this last year!

2. Keep things fun! During our engagement, we couldn’t wait to just have a place. A home together. Now that we have our little slice of real estate {read: currently, two medium sized rooms}, it’s easy to just get used to zoning out on the couch and cuddling which, don’t get me wrong, is really wonderful. But we love having dates and times where we can just talk. So being vigilant about time to just talk and hear one another through dates, special walks, etc. have been really important.

3. Be excited about things your significant other is excited about. One thing that James and I love together are the Lakers. And mostly, we enjoy the same things {Sportscenter, working out, Jesus, food, reading..}. But I have learned to be excited about things James likes in other ways. Like shopping.. James genuinely enjoys shopping {not so much “dilly-dallying”}. When I used to go shopping, it was all about what I wanted. But knowing this about him, it’s so fun to think on his behalf and get him a couple things.

4. As long as your calendar is planned in advance, have date nights planned accordingly. Nothing more need be said, but that date nights are a must! Take time for yourselves to be together.

5. And speaking of..mindless Saturdays together with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a stack of movies is not a crime. This has been one of our favorite things to do: Build a fort, get in our comfiest PJs, hit up the Redbox and grab some Chunky Monkey cause it’s movie day at the Mastrianna’s! This was one of our most beloved ways to cuddle and connect in the last year. Don’t feel guilty about it {my vulnerability}!

6. Serve each other as much as possible with your whole heart. Serving one another is one of the capstones of this last year, and it just feels so good. I love being able to do things for James, and I love having him do things for me. I had a friend ask if it’s hard to always think of the other person and their needs..but it’s really such a joy. I think that’s how God made it to be. So prop up their feet and bring them a sparkly water and some grapes, baby! And soak it up when it’s your turn..

7. Talk a lot about what you think about family. We have learned so much about each other. What are your values? What do you think about kids? What do you want holidays to look like? These are all questions we got to explore together, and the more we talk about it, the more we define our Mastrianna family. Good stuff.

8. Don’t stop getting gussied up. I like it. He likes it. The end.

9. Keep pursuing separately our relationships with God. I had my slip-ups and learning curves with this, but I had to keep at my own personal time with God. Things will mesh, definitely, but keep serving God first, and I’m telling you, it’s way more satisfying.

10. Lots of giggle attacks on the couch make for a happier us. Take time to laugh and don’t be too uptight. It’s medicine!

7 thoughts on “Ten things about marriage

  1. LOOOVE reading what you've learned! I just thought of building a fort the other day with my James, now to actually make that happen ; ) Agreed about all, especially relationships with God, serving each other, and getting gussied up : )


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