ten things in our first year {laura unrefined}

Say hello to my wonderful friend, Laura from Laura Unrefined! Laura and I met back in 2009 when I was still at UC Irvine, and helping with a church plant in the LBC. Well it just so happened that Laura’s whole family was apart of this church in some way or another {they’re amazing, people!} and it allsso just so happens that she’s the most awesome lady ever {and her wedding- ohmygawsh gorgeous}. She is a beautiful, awesome, faithful friend and it’s just a cherry on top that she keeps quite a lovely blog of her and Phil’s day-in and day-out extravaganzas and cuteness. I love connecting with her in our regular lives, but then tacking on the blog-fun! You’re gonna love her!

After a year of marriage I’ve learned many, many, many things. Marriage is an adventure and whom you chose to take the adventure with makes all the difference in the world. Coming up with this list and reflecting on Phil and my first year together was interesting and pretty hilarious.

Husband helped for a little while, but 9 out of 10 suggestions from him had to do with sex. If you have been married for any length of time that should be no surprise to you. This list is in no particular order too. Enjoy!

1. Option A or Option B. If there are two ways to do something husband will chose one and I’ll chose the opposite every time. We’ve needed to learn that there isn’t always one way to go about something and not getting frustrated with each other while we are figuring it out it key.

2. Communication, sex and quality time are equally important. Oh man, don’t neglect any of these three things or you’ll go crazy. Talk it out, get it on, and spend some time enjoying one another.

3. Not every couples story is the same, or even similar. Before I got married I heard multiple stories about how the first year is the hardest and if you can make it past that you’ll be fine. I’ve learned that our marriage shouldn’t be compared to others marriages. We may be in the same place in life as other couples but our story and path is completely unique.

4. Sex 15 times a day on your honeymoon is unrealistic. I may be naïve but this was a big surprise to me! Even one to two times a day on your honeymoon is ahead of the curve.

5. Hard decisions in marriage aren’t fun before marriage or after. Husband and I didn’t truly have any tough decisions to make before we got married besides wedding drama. After we were married we got a crash course into it. Hardships suck, but now we look back and are so thankful for them because they truly brought us closer together.

6. Never stop dating! This is advice my dad gave us and my parents have been happily married for over 30 years. If you got dolled up, went to the movies, out to dinner, and played tennis together before you got married why would you stop after you got married!?

7. When are you going to have a baby!? I’ve found that if you make inappropriate jokes when they ask you this question it shuts them right up. “You know we aren’t sure, but last night was so great, that it may have just happened…… yep I may have just been knocked up.”

8. Adjustments are part of the game. Learn how to clean for two, buy gifts for two families birthdays, juggle all holidays, pick up dirty socks that have wound up in the couch, take turns doing dishes, and scoot over cause husbands take up most of the bed while sleeping at night.

9. Embrace each other’s passions. My husband would go hiking everyday if he could. I, on the other hand, don’t love to throw on my hiking boots very regularly, but since he loves it we hike pretty often and now I enjoy it. Phil supports my passions too! It’s a great trade and allows for you to keep those characteristics that made you fall in love with each other.

10. Don’t join the “hate on your husband” women’s clubs a. This was advice my mom told me before I got married and it’s oh so true! There are women out there who love to get together and complain about their husbands. Don’t get involved in those clubs.

Thank you so much, Laura!

Don’t forget to check her out blog!

4 thoughts on “ten things in our first year {laura unrefined}

  1. I love your straight talk, Laura! Amen to #4 – something I should have learned before the honeymoon…Totally agree with #9 too, it's hard sometimes to be enthusiastic about things that he wants to do, but I try to be! And a definitely YES to always dating! : )

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